Identity Crisis

I don’t want to be skinny. But every image I see seems to be telling me that being skinny is what I should aspire to. So what do I want to be? How will I know when I get there? And will I feel good about myself when I arrive? Okay, so this is not really what I’m going to be talking about today, but it is a small part of a larger issue that I feel I’ve been facing. Who am I, really? I seem to be suffering from a bit of an identity crisis. But who isn’t? We seem to have to so many questions to answer about ourselves that it lends itself to a bit of schizophrenia. What type of parent do I want to be? What type of business, exactly, do I need to be running? What kind of partner do I want to be? What do I need to be doing in each of these areas to be who I need to be? And, here’s the kicker: Once I figure it out, how will I know I’ve made the right choice? Will I be happy? Will it be ‘me’? Because, ultimately, isn’t that what you’re striving for; to find something that fits - something that is a true representation of you are? If that’s the case, then why do you spend so much time doing just the opposite? And just when do you plan on finding your true identity?

Life can tend to get away from you. The day-to-day grind can drown out the voice in your head – or that feeling in your gut – that is telling you that you know you want to be doing something different, that you’re wasting your true gifts and talents, or that you’re living a life that betrays who you really are. It is natural to get caught up in doing the things you’ve been led to believe are what you “should” do, for a variety of seemingly logical reasons. The question is, is it in line with who you really are? And how do you know? First, you have to ask yourself the question “Is the life I’m living true to who I am, my gifts and talents, and the desires of my heart?” And then you have to be brave enough to hear the answer, because once the answer comes, and it will – and you accept it (acceptance is key) – all hell breaks loose. You will be racked with a million questions like ‘well, if this isn’t it, what is it’. You will wonder how to get where you want, and need, to be. You will have fits and starts; starting out on one path only to figure out it was not quite the right direction. There will be discomfort as you meander down the path of change.

That’s the things about an identity crisis, it’s like shopping for just the right outfit. You gotta try on a lot of clothes before you find something that has just that right fit. Sometimes it’s frustrating and you can become impatient. Sometimes you have to go to several stores. Sometimes you find something that is close, but not quite the look you had envisioned. Sometimes due to time constraints, or budget, you might have to settle for an outfit that is good enough for the moment, and then later you might have to have someone make the outfit you truly want (this is to say that your right fit – your identity – may be something you have to create for yourself). And sometimes after you’ve found your perfect outfit, some people may not even like it! Finding your identity is not always an easy process but, ultimately, don’t you want to be living a life that is truly reflective of who you are (preferably in the perfect outfit)? Imagine that moment when your inner and outer life come into alignment. That, my friends, is true peace. And well worth the effort, I think. Thus, before I sign off, my question to you is: Who are you… really?

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs